The BCS Bottom 10 lobby is a crowded place this week as the entire Big East dropped by to say hello. The Red River twins are in a corner arm wrestling as Minnesota and Iowa State wander aimlessly from clique to clique. Wait a minute! Who’s that coming through the front door? Why it’s …
10. SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
Last week: def. Washington 27-24
This week: Stanford
The Trojans became the first top-ranked team since 2002 to win its game but fall out of the top spot in the AP writers’ poll. This led coach Pete Carroll to exclaim, “We can’t play like this the rest of the season or we’ll lose like a normal team.” Nice of him to mix with the commoners.
Prediction: SoCal 61, The Tree 0
9. OLE MISS
Last week: l. to Georgia 45-17
This week: Louisiana Tech
Pity the poor Rebs. They’re not even the best team in their state now that Croom’s Grooms are on the upswing. By the way, the Rebs’ next open-field tackle will be their first. This ain’t flag football, fellas.
Prediction: Yes, the game will be played but there are no winners here.
8. KANSAS
Last week: Bye
This week: at Kansas State
The undefeated Jayhawks are here because their strength of schedule, amazingly, is worse than 57 FCS (formerly I-AA ) teams. It’s the worst schedule since the Halcyon days of … well … this week’s opponent.
Prediction: Kansas State 28, Kansas 24
7. STANFORD
Last week: l. to Arizona State 41-3
This week: Southern Cal
This week’s game will be akin to the little kid frying ants with a magnifying class. If The Tree is five touchdowns worse than Arizona State what happens against an angry SoCal?
Prediction: The Perfect Storm
6. IOWA STATE
Last week: l. to Nebraska 35-17
This week: at Texas Tech
The Cyclones remind me of the Red Shirt Guy on Star Trek. Whenever he was in the picture, you knew who was going to get the phaser to the temple. I hear they’ll be guest-starring as the Black Smoke Monster on “Lost”
Prediction: Texas Tech a whole lot, Iowa State not nearly enough
5. MINNESOTA
Last week: l. to Ohio State 30-7
This week: at Indiana
So, in an effort to confuse Ohio State, the Golden Gophers switched to mustard-colored uniforms between warm-ups and game time. You can’t make up stuff like this. Only one word comes to mind when I think of their coach, Tim “Punky” Brewster: Nincompoop.
Prediction: Indiana 21, Minnesota 17
4. THE BIG EAST
Last week: Unbelievable
This week: Of no concern
South Florida is now the league’s standard-bearer after West Virginia, Rutgers and Louisville were shown the door over the past few weeks. For a minute there, I though this was a real conference. What is it with Rutgers breaking into hives when ranked in the top 10?
Prediction: A whole bunch of e-mails from angry Big Easterners
3. STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA
Last week: 0-3
This week: A Fine Mess
Last week, I erroneously said Wake was playing Duke. That slobberknocker goes down this week. In other games if ill repute, N.C. State cries into its pillow at Florida State while Miami waits around in Chapel Hill for the Tarred Heels to show themselves.
Prediction: Well, someone has to win that Duke game.
2. THE RED RIVER RIVALRY
Last week: 0-2
This week: There Can Be Only One
That’s a ‘Highlander’ reference. The ‘Highlander’ series is the perfect analogy for Oklahoma-Texas. The first movie was a cult classic. The second turned all the characters into aliens that scooted around on flying surfboards. The third completely ignored the second … just as Oklahoma and Texas will pretend last week never happened.
Prediction: A Nielsens ratings disaster.
1. NOTRE DAME
Last week: l. to Purdue 33-19
This week: at UCLA
Unbeaten Purdue won this game and their strength-of-schedule took a hit. Wow. Notre Dame is two games behind Army in the four- team Independent standings. Four Horsemen, my foot. Which of the Horsemen show this week? Pestilence? Famine?
Prediction: Apocalypse Now
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